joy

what brings joy?

maybe we can start with what takes joy away. my joy is killed when... i get hungry, it's raining, it's cold, i'm tired, i'm busy, i show up at school and find out that my classes have been cancelled, i'm on the bus and my butt begins to hurt and i'm only halfway to my destination, i miss the bus that i was supposed to have caught, i want to play guitar but it's too late so i don't want to disturb people, i run out of clean clothes, we have only vegetables for dinner or when my hostmom isn't home and my hostdad just gives me soup, somebody cuts me off while i'm driving, i begin to miss the people that were important in my life, i want something that i cannot have.

in light of all these joy killers, most of which i endure on a weekly, if not daily, basis, what is it, then, that brings me joy?

well, before i turn to that, maybe i should answer this first: do the antitheses of joy killers actually bring joy? in other words, does being full bring me joy? maybe. but there certainly is that fine line where i'm happy to be eating good food to where i want to die because i've now eaten too much. sun and warm weather? well, it depends if i am getting to enjoy it or not. being inside all day kind of negates that one. when i'm awake and my schedule is completely free? depends on how i choose to spend with my day i guess. people who cut me off certainly displeases me, but was there any joy there to begin with? am i actually joyful as i drive?

i could probably go on and break down the rest as well, but i think the point is beginning to become clear: the things that take away our joy (and there are many) aren't even necessarily correlated with bringing us joy. in other words, while these joy killers may explain our lack of joy, they do not explain when we do have joy.

now, what is it that can bring joy? one answer, and i have to thank my students for this, is relationships. yesterday, as i rolled into school, i was thinking about my lesson (on whose line is it anyway?) and how much fun i thought i was going to have with my kids. this led me to think about my kids and how joyful they can be. most of them are smiling whenever i see them and class is almost always a fun time. but as all of us know, being in school wasn't always the happiest times of our lives. with assignments and tests and the pressure to excel/succeed, how could anybody find joy in such a context?

so then, what? why are these kids so happy? i think it is because they truly enjoy their time with each other. my classes are so close with each other. closer then i remember being with my classmates in high school. party of this camaraderie is certainly built through the fact that they don't rotate classes, and are with the same 20 or so students all day, every day. anyway, i think there are few things in life that can bring as much joy as good relationships. we all want people to enjoy life together with. we desire people in our lives who truly know and understand us. who even love us in spite of the fact that they know and understand who we really are. and you know this too. just think back to some of your happiest memories and i'm sure you will be able to identify the people present who made those moments so meaningful.

to know and to be known. that is what brings joy.

i had one of my kids take pictures on "debate day." in all these pictures, you see the kids being with each other and being happy (well, aside from the first one where he's all by himself). i'm tempted to take all the credit and say it's because i'm such an awesome teacher and that my lesson was just that amazing, but honestly, even if my lesson was the greatest ever, if the kids didn't enjoy each other's company, do you think we could have had fun with it? can you imagine what it would have been like if the kids didn't like talking to each other?

all right, now to let the pictures do the talking...