show some appreciation

There's been something on my mind the last two days. I have two stories.

When groups come in one of the first things we do is go on a prayer tour. We take them around the city and have them engage in different activities, all the while praying for the city. One of the activities we have them do is to interview people about homelessness in Times Square. The reason we do this in Times Square is because with all there is to be distracted with it becomes easy to forget about those in need. So one of our groups decided to interview those UHO (United Homeless Organization) people who have booths on the street collecting money to give to the homeless. They figured, these people are collecting money so they have to have something to say about homeless. Instead, they found no answers are were directed to talk to other, supposed, "managers." It seemed kind of sketchy. After a quick search on UHO it does look pretty sketch.

Next, we came across a guy playing his bass on the street. We were across the way so we couldn't really always see what was going on but we were there for at least 10 minutes waiting on some group members. Whenever anyone would stop and listen to him he would pause and point at his bucket, indicating to the listener to donate money. This was okay. Then when one lady took a picture of him and began to walk away he jumped up and yelled, "HEY! SHOW SOME APPRECIATION!" The lady refused and the man continued to yell at her until she finally crossed the street. Back on our side of the street one of our boys actually did take a picture of him as well. And i'm pretty sure he saw this because he got up and started staring our way.

I'm not telling these stories because i want you to distrust the people on the street. Although, i'm not gonna lie. When i encounter people like this it makes me want to be skeptical of every person i encounter especially if they're asking for help. It also makes me feel like all they want is to use me for my money. I don't want to help these people. At times my thoughts go further then just ignoring them but hoping that they would somehow get what they deserve for what they are doing.

Needless to say, my capacity to love is about as great as the little puddles after it rains, whereas Jesus' love is the rain that fills my puddle (it was raining today. it's summer. why is it still raining? ny weather makes no sense.). One of the theme verses for this year at CSM comes from Luke 4:18-19:
"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for he has appointed me to preach Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the downtrodden will be freed from their oppressors, and that the time of hte Lord's favor has come."
If Jesus were here would he be angry at these people? Maybe. Would he ever stop helping them or doing all that he could to give them what they need? Probably not. This is where i fall short. I have my image of justice and i determine what i feel like is a worthy cause. I need Christ's love to consume me or else there is no way i could continue to pursue the life he has called me to.