About halfway through the summer, the boys' room was getting kind of messy. And we kept talking about how we should vacuum it but we never did. So one night at dinner at a Senegalese restaurant, one of the girls from one of the church groups dared me to eat a fish eye. I'm like that's no big deal, i'll do it. But if i do you gotta vacuum my room. She's like sure. And i eat it. She never vacuums my room. But come on, like i was really gonna let her do that right? Uhh, sure. I actually try this stunt out again. And this boy seriously wanted to vacuum. He asked me like 3 different times but every time i was like it's alright, maybe another time. Until finally it was time for him to leave and then it was too late.
The church we stayed at had an indoor basketball gym. Naturally i spent a lot of time in there. Actually, that's not true. I should have spent a lot of time in there. But my ass is pretty lazy. Anyway, most of us hosts love basketball. In fact, when we introduce ourselves at orientation, we actually parade into the gym to bumpin music as if we were a legit basketball team. (we actually have a team name and warm-ups, but i'm not going into that here). All summer we tried to get youth groups to challenge us to games. But we were only able to muster up a handful. Finally, we get this one week, with some boys who begin trash talking there hosts saying all sorts of things. So it's finally game time. And we go out there and take out the trash basically. We handle it. Whoop on them. And send them downstairs to bed silent. Their youth pastor actually thanked me for beating them because they were getting out of hand with their trash talking haha.
So the next day they're begging us for a rematch. But i'm tired, and possibility sore from the night before, so i'm like no, i don't know about tonight. But aha! The brilliant plan comes to mind. I give them an offer. I'll play but if we win they have to clean my room, and then if they win i'd let them come up with whatever they wanted. They agree and i'm like sweet, i'm finally getting my room cleaned, especially since, you know, we whooped them the night before. But we lose some hosts, get some new ones, and in the end they catch on fire and go on something like a 5-2 run to win the game. I'm stunned.
I head to the showers to clean this game off of me. And soon a bunch of the boys from that church are in there talking about what they're gonna make me do. What follows was one of the funniest moments of my summer:
Boy 1: "Let's make him shave his legs or his head!"
Boy 2: "We can't shave his head, he's asian, they have nice hair."
Boy 3: "He's not asian, he's from california"
Everyone buy boy 3 starts laughing.
Boy 3: (to me) "Are you of asian decent?"
Me: "Naw, i'm californian"
Ridiculous. This brings back to mind other hilarious comments from this summer:
Mayonne: "I'm the sister you never knew you wanted"
Me: "I didn't know i wanted one of those"
This one's kind of bad... but i still find it hilarious, so forgive me...
As i'm walking through harlem with one of my groups, some guy we walk past exclaims, "Oh my god, it's snowing!"
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
angel of mine
Angel doing his thingThis is Angel. Seven days a week from 1-9pm Angel sets up shop at this intersection, a couple blocks away from our housing site, to sell candy. Whenever i was walking home i would always hope to see him there and i definitely took a number of my groups to buy candy from him. I don't wanna brag or anything, but i was probably his best advertiser.
Anyway, the hardest thing about leaving New York for me was leaving Angel. I had seen him working at his intersection a couple times before i finally went up to talk to him. It was kind of hard to understand him but something about him kept drawing me to him. So after that whenever i saw him out there i would make it a point to stop by and chat a little. He's 22 years old. Older than me, which made him laugh when he found that out. He's got two younger brothers. And he lives at home. He's been selling candy, from costco, at this intersection since he was 18. He hates selling candy. He doesn't like doing it but he needs money. This actually caught me off guard. Because every time i've seen him he's always smiled real big and been real friendly.
The last day i saw him before i came home i told him this was probably the last time i would see him before i left. He told me he was going to miss me. And that if i ever came back to NY that he would be there. He gave me a hug and thanked me for everything that i had done, and for all the candy i'd bought from him (though no more than $10 worth of candy i'm sure). I feel weird talking about this; i don't want to portray the idea that i think i made such a huge difference, but i know that Angel really loved me. And that when he told me he was going to miss me and when he thanked me for everything, that he was being completely sincere. Did i really do as much for him as he thanks me for? i doubt it. All i did was stop by with him every now and again. Yet i believe his sincerity.
After this summer i really believe that it takes so little for us to really make a difference. Add up the amount of time time i spent with Angel and it was probably less than an hour, a couple hours tops, yet look at his gratitude. Even with the youth groups that came in. There were so many times when i just didn't try, so many times i was tired, or that i felt like i wouldn't be able to connect with certain kids. Yet God was huge. Lives were change. Every time i got to hear one of my students tell me how this week had been life changing for them made my heart skip a beat. It also humbled me greatly. Because even when i didn't work to try and touch the lives of these kids, God did.
I'm going to miss Angel so much. By the end of the summer we were getting to know each other better. The last few conversations we had were so much fun. We shared about our lives and laughed together. I never got to do anything for him besides buying his candy. I invited him to one of our praise nights and to go get dinner but both times he said he couldn't because he had to work. Walking away from him was so hard because realistically i knew i would never get to see him again. Yet at the same time i also walk away feeling satisfied. Satisfied because i know that i truly tried to show him love and because he showed me that somehow through me he had indeed received the love he deserved. And though i still feel as if i hadn't done enough for him, i trust that though i am no longer there, God will continue to take care of this young man, doing more for him than i could ever know.
Monday, August 18, 2008
goodbye csm
As i sit here, with my bags all packed, the night before i leave, there's a lot of thoughts that are running through my head. There are actually other posts i have begun but have yet to finish, but i feel like this is most timely. It's been a good summer. CSM gave me the opportunity to come to a new city and to learn about it and to serve in it in a way i wouldn't have been able to under any other circumstance. For that i am extremely grateful. I was also presented with the opportunity with working with high schoolers and with the potential to teach them and to have an impact on their lives. And definitely when i think about some of my most memorable moments a lot of those interactions i had with some kids stand out. But in spite of all this, the thing i will probably miss the most, and the thing i will think of first when i talk about csm ny, is the other hosts.
SF, from Upstate New York, not to be confused with Mr. Belding from Saved by the Bell (i don't even remember why i say this), KRISTEN ERBELDING:
As the only NY returner, we definitely relied on you for a lot. And you were always patient. The one thing that stands out to me about you is your willingness to talk. The greatest example of this was that one day after church when we were in the kitchen talking about spiritual warfare. One thing that i admire about you is that i can tell that you think before you speak. You don't just speak off the top of your head and what you have to share is always thought-out. Or at least it seems that way. Anyway, i have a lot of respect for what you have to say.
PF, from Fort Worth, Texas, 'Go big or go home!' LAUREN SHEPPARD:
I remember you said this about me once too, but when i first met you i thought there would be no way we could have much in common. You were from Texas and went to school in Oklahoma. Surprise surprise. Your love for yogurt makes me laugh. And the fact that you've never seen Star Wars is mind boggling to me. I still remember when we were painting at operation exodus, and i gave you that book on Darth Vader -- you were so fascinated by it. It was hilarious. The thing i admire the most about you is your love for your kids. This isn't a knock on the rest of us hosts, but i feel like you consistently put forth the most effort in trying to get to know your kids. Even when it's difficult. And i'm thinking about one in particular (the "we're gonna die" one). Also, your ability to remember names is astonishing.
Our 3rd string bench-warmer (by the way, it's pretty impressive that you made 3rd string when we only have 8 players), whose parents sponsor this team, from George Mason, TIFFANY CATRON:
I didn't really know what to think when i first met you. This girl from George Mason, with the purple rain boots. The one story that stands out to me is from the week with my favorite group when you were trying so hard to tell those girls about Jesus. You went from feeling like you had no idea what you were doing to being able to genuinely share your story and really showing Jesus' love to those kids. It seems like every worship night you always have your group in tears. Unfortunately i was unable to figure out how you did that, but it seems like you were doing a great job. And i love how you get coffee everywhere you go, even at serendipity.
I'm gonna miss you guys. And you should already know this but, you can always stand under my umbrella.
It's been a long summer. A summer filled with excitement, both good and horrendous at times. And through it all i got to have 7 hosts, all strange and wonderful in their own right, by my side to experience this all with. So this is my goodbye to you hosts. You all have had an impact on my life and it was a pleasure serving with ya'll. Though there may have been times when i wanted to strangle you, and i'm sure i drove some of ya'll crazy as well, it was truly amazing to see how 8 strangers, picked to live in a house, could come together and have some life-changing experiences. I am truly going to miss you all.
Now then, are you all ready to meet your CSM hosts?!
At point guard, from Central Pennsylvania, standing 6 foot 2 and 9/16ths, LUKE JOHNSON:
The first time i met you you were reading. And you pretty much kept reading all summer. I've told you this a couple times already but the thing i admire the most about you is your devotion to learning. You were also probably the only host that tried to do ministry outside of csm and that was amazing to see. Your heart is in the right place and i know you're going to do great things in the inner-city. My favorite Luke-moment happened that one night after yogurt land, when we were making fun of how you tend to drift off into your own world during conversations and then you have no idea what's going on. Right after we made fun of you for that, you kinda just stared at us and was like, "Wait, what'd you say?" It was ridiculous.
The first time i met you you were reading. And you pretty much kept reading all summer. I've told you this a couple times already but the thing i admire the most about you is your devotion to learning. You were also probably the only host that tried to do ministry outside of csm and that was amazing to see. Your heart is in the right place and i know you're going to do great things in the inner-city. My favorite Luke-moment happened that one night after yogurt land, when we were making fun of how you tend to drift off into your own world during conversations and then you have no idea what's going on. Right after we made fun of you for that, you kinda just stared at us and was like, "Wait, what'd you say?" It was ridiculous.
SF, from Upstate New York, not to be confused with Mr. Belding from Saved by the Bell (i don't even remember why i say this), KRISTEN ERBELDING:
As the only NY returner, we definitely relied on you for a lot. And you were always patient. The one thing that stands out to me about you is your willingness to talk. The greatest example of this was that one day after church when we were in the kitchen talking about spiritual warfare. One thing that i admire about you is that i can tell that you think before you speak. You don't just speak off the top of your head and what you have to share is always thought-out. Or at least it seems that way. Anyway, i have a lot of respect for what you have to say.
PF, from Fort Worth, Texas, 'Go big or go home!' LAUREN SHEPPARD:
I remember you said this about me once too, but when i first met you i thought there would be no way we could have much in common. You were from Texas and went to school in Oklahoma. Surprise surprise. Your love for yogurt makes me laugh. And the fact that you've never seen Star Wars is mind boggling to me. I still remember when we were painting at operation exodus, and i gave you that book on Darth Vader -- you were so fascinated by it. It was hilarious. The thing i admire the most about you is your love for your kids. This isn't a knock on the rest of us hosts, but i feel like you consistently put forth the most effort in trying to get to know your kids. Even when it's difficult. And i'm thinking about one in particular (the "we're gonna die" one). Also, your ability to remember names is astonishing.
Our 3rd string bench-warmer (by the way, it's pretty impressive that you made 3rd string when we only have 8 players), whose parents sponsor this team, from George Mason, TIFFANY CATRON:
I didn't really know what to think when i first met you. This girl from George Mason, with the purple rain boots. The one story that stands out to me is from the week with my favorite group when you were trying so hard to tell those girls about Jesus. You went from feeling like you had no idea what you were doing to being able to genuinely share your story and really showing Jesus' love to those kids. It seems like every worship night you always have your group in tears. Unfortunately i was unable to figure out how you did that, but it seems like you were doing a great job. And i love how you get coffee everywhere you go, even at serendipity.
Blazing a trail from somewhere in the pacific northwest, ERIC KNAPE:
Eric! Do you hear what i hear? Haha. Maybe this is just because this story is from yesterday, but my fav story about you is when the girls were asking me where you were and i told them to just keep screaming your name and that you would find them. Haha. I was dying... Anyway, I am currently writing this on your laptop, sitting across from you, as you sleep. The thing i admire the most about you is how you never let your frustrations take over. I know there were times when you were stressed or were just in bad situations, but you never let that dictate your life. It was also a pleasure leading all them worship nights with you. This last week when i had to choose the songs on my own it felt so weird and i kept wanting to call you. which i eventually did. But yes, it's been good.
From Guyana (honestly, I didn't even know where Guyana was until i met you -- i had to look it up on wikipedia)! Our water girl, MAYONNE THOMAS:
You are so weird. Half the time i don't know what to think about you. All the times you threatened to tell Susan on me with stories that you had made up. You crazy. It was pretty funny when you met Susan though. When i saw you guys across the street i was like, 'should i wait for them or should i just run and hide?' I waited. And you guys acted very mature in front of Susan. The thing that i admire about you the most is your high expectations for yourself. Though i will say this is also something you need to work on as well, for If you find you're not living up to your standards you tend to get down on yourself. Just do the best with what you can and God will do great things with it. After all that bickering all summer i guess you really are that sister i never knew i wanted. or the sister from the same fad-der. Seriously though, how would you say 'birthday?' I cannot for the life of me figure that one out.
Our Center, the biggest player in ALL of Michigan, KATIE BENNETT:
You're huge! I'll never forget our first week hosting together. It was such a great experience. How we complimented each other during debriefing sessions and how we made decisions (usually determined through a quick game of rock-paper-scissors) was so easy. It was a great first week. The thing that i admire the most about you is your love for people. You hate drama and you are all for conflict resolution. Which is kind of interesting cause i would have thought that a person like you would just try and avoid conflict altogether. But that one night that first week was excellent. You were a stud. I think the fact that you cried kind of broke everyone's anger and frustration. It made us re-recognize how we were here to support one another not to stress each other out or to make one another cry. You are seriously one of the most loving people i know. You always tried to check up on me and i thank you for that.
And the captain of this squad, the all-American, the MVP, my name's JOSH LO, i'm from L.A.!
Bring it in! CSM on 3. 1, 2, 3, CSM! Welcome to New York where we don't play!
From Guyana (honestly, I didn't even know where Guyana was until i met you -- i had to look it up on wikipedia)! Our water girl, MAYONNE THOMAS:
You are so weird. Half the time i don't know what to think about you. All the times you threatened to tell Susan on me with stories that you had made up. You crazy. It was pretty funny when you met Susan though. When i saw you guys across the street i was like, 'should i wait for them or should i just run and hide?' I waited. And you guys acted very mature in front of Susan. The thing that i admire about you the most is your high expectations for yourself. Though i will say this is also something you need to work on as well, for If you find you're not living up to your standards you tend to get down on yourself. Just do the best with what you can and God will do great things with it. After all that bickering all summer i guess you really are that sister i never knew i wanted. or the sister from the same fad-der. Seriously though, how would you say 'birthday?' I cannot for the life of me figure that one out.
Our Center, the biggest player in ALL of Michigan, KATIE BENNETT:
You're huge! I'll never forget our first week hosting together. It was such a great experience. How we complimented each other during debriefing sessions and how we made decisions (usually determined through a quick game of rock-paper-scissors) was so easy. It was a great first week. The thing that i admire the most about you is your love for people. You hate drama and you are all for conflict resolution. Which is kind of interesting cause i would have thought that a person like you would just try and avoid conflict altogether. But that one night that first week was excellent. You were a stud. I think the fact that you cried kind of broke everyone's anger and frustration. It made us re-recognize how we were here to support one another not to stress each other out or to make one another cry. You are seriously one of the most loving people i know. You always tried to check up on me and i thank you for that.
And the captain of this squad, the all-American, the MVP, my name's JOSH LO, i'm from L.A.!
Bring it in! CSM on 3. 1, 2, 3, CSM! Welcome to New York where we don't play!
I'm gonna miss you guys. And you should already know this but, you can always stand under my umbrella.
new york city relief bus
My favorite ministry site of the summer was the New York City Relief Bus. The reason i love this site is because it does a good job of allowing the students to both serve and to build relationships. Many times sites can focus on one in particular but it's pretty rare to find a place that is able to do both. I've only been to the Relief Bus maybe four times but all four of those were amazing times. This week our experience there was particularly amazing and i believe that God arranged divine appointments that day.
The first story is about a man named Jason. Literally 2 minutes after we got out on the street, before i was even assigned my job, Jason had already come up to our information booth. Jason lost his job awhile ago and had been doing drugs for the last 6 months of his life. Sometime that morning he had received a flier for the Relief Bus and when he saw it offered information on drug rehabilitation he decided it was time. He came to us and said he needed help. The Relief Bus staff begin calling up drug rehab centers but can't get a hold of any. Finally one answers but says that he would need to get there that day. Unfortunately there's no way to get Jason there so we were stuck. The Relief Bus staff was saying that unless we can physically bring Jason to the center he probably won't go, that people always say they want help or intend to change, but that things usually tend to happen that prevent them from making it all the way. Then one of our leaders, Chris, takes some of our girls over to a local church to use their bathroom. While there, Chris is talking to the pastor of the church, tells him about the Jason situation, and the pastor tells him that his son can drive Jason over. Jason then leaves the Relief Bus to go pick up the rest of his belongings. So Chris is now waiting around for Jason to return so that we can send him off to the rehab center. An hour and a half pass and Jason has yet to return. At this point Chris has given up and begins to do other things. He begins to wonder how Jason could pass up this opportunity to turn around his life. And then Jason finally returns. And now he's in a rehab center. Furthermore, at some point while they were trying to figure things out, Jason accepted Christ.
The second story is about a man named Martin. Martin was just passing by when he saw the white bus and something simply led him to the bus. Martin is an illegal immigrant and for some reason, i couldn't quite figure out exactly what had happened, he has been separated from his children. But because his children were born in the US and he wasn't he has no legal way of getting his children back. In addition, he has diabetes which has caused damage to his eyes, back and legs and is hereby unable to work. He had a court date to fight for his kids but missed it because his eyes were hurting. Our leader who was talking to him was Laura and afterwards Laura was commenting about how she's used to people telling her their problems but then that she always has some sort of advice to give them. But that when she encountered Martin, there was nothing she could say. The Relief Bus staff was calling all over and eventually said there was nothing they could do for him. Nothing short of a miracle would help this man. So they prayed for him. A couple minutes after they finish praying Martin gets a phone call from his case worker. Laura said she could hear the lady yelling at him for not calling her back. Martin explained that it was because his eyes were so bad he couldn't read her number in order to call. Finally at the end of the conversation, the case worker tells Martin that he can see his kids next week. Martin became ecstatic. He even began saying how his eyes were feeling better, how he had felt the hand of the Lord on his back, and how his back and feet were better as well. He said after this experience he was going to follow the Lord. The Relief Bus staff also put a bible in Martin's bag and when Martin found out about it he pulled it out and kissed it, saying it was the best gift he had ever receieved.
These two stories were crazy. When you think about it they really had nothing to do with us. We were simply fortunate enough to be at the right place and to have been able to be used by God in order for God to minister to two of his children. For Jason it was pretty crazy for him to receive a simply flier and to decide that he now wanted to turn his life around. And for Martin to have been drawn to the bus was interesting as well. The story with Martin is even crazier because he couldn't speak English. Laura had to translate for him the entire time. This is what really makes me believe these were divine appointments. Had we not had Spanish speakers, or individuals who could speak as well as the ones we had could, there was no way we would have had this experience. So not only did God drop two opportunities right in our laps, but he also ensured we had the tools necessary in order to help them. This was one truly amazing experience.
For more information on the bus visit www.nycr.org/
The first story is about a man named Jason. Literally 2 minutes after we got out on the street, before i was even assigned my job, Jason had already come up to our information booth. Jason lost his job awhile ago and had been doing drugs for the last 6 months of his life. Sometime that morning he had received a flier for the Relief Bus and when he saw it offered information on drug rehabilitation he decided it was time. He came to us and said he needed help. The Relief Bus staff begin calling up drug rehab centers but can't get a hold of any. Finally one answers but says that he would need to get there that day. Unfortunately there's no way to get Jason there so we were stuck. The Relief Bus staff was saying that unless we can physically bring Jason to the center he probably won't go, that people always say they want help or intend to change, but that things usually tend to happen that prevent them from making it all the way. Then one of our leaders, Chris, takes some of our girls over to a local church to use their bathroom. While there, Chris is talking to the pastor of the church, tells him about the Jason situation, and the pastor tells him that his son can drive Jason over. Jason then leaves the Relief Bus to go pick up the rest of his belongings. So Chris is now waiting around for Jason to return so that we can send him off to the rehab center. An hour and a half pass and Jason has yet to return. At this point Chris has given up and begins to do other things. He begins to wonder how Jason could pass up this opportunity to turn around his life. And then Jason finally returns. And now he's in a rehab center. Furthermore, at some point while they were trying to figure things out, Jason accepted Christ.
The second story is about a man named Martin. Martin was just passing by when he saw the white bus and something simply led him to the bus. Martin is an illegal immigrant and for some reason, i couldn't quite figure out exactly what had happened, he has been separated from his children. But because his children were born in the US and he wasn't he has no legal way of getting his children back. In addition, he has diabetes which has caused damage to his eyes, back and legs and is hereby unable to work. He had a court date to fight for his kids but missed it because his eyes were hurting. Our leader who was talking to him was Laura and afterwards Laura was commenting about how she's used to people telling her their problems but then that she always has some sort of advice to give them. But that when she encountered Martin, there was nothing she could say. The Relief Bus staff was calling all over and eventually said there was nothing they could do for him. Nothing short of a miracle would help this man. So they prayed for him. A couple minutes after they finish praying Martin gets a phone call from his case worker. Laura said she could hear the lady yelling at him for not calling her back. Martin explained that it was because his eyes were so bad he couldn't read her number in order to call. Finally at the end of the conversation, the case worker tells Martin that he can see his kids next week. Martin became ecstatic. He even began saying how his eyes were feeling better, how he had felt the hand of the Lord on his back, and how his back and feet were better as well. He said after this experience he was going to follow the Lord. The Relief Bus staff also put a bible in Martin's bag and when Martin found out about it he pulled it out and kissed it, saying it was the best gift he had ever receieved.
These two stories were crazy. When you think about it they really had nothing to do with us. We were simply fortunate enough to be at the right place and to have been able to be used by God in order for God to minister to two of his children. For Jason it was pretty crazy for him to receive a simply flier and to decide that he now wanted to turn his life around. And for Martin to have been drawn to the bus was interesting as well. The story with Martin is even crazier because he couldn't speak English. Laura had to translate for him the entire time. This is what really makes me believe these were divine appointments. Had we not had Spanish speakers, or individuals who could speak as well as the ones we had could, there was no way we would have had this experience. So not only did God drop two opportunities right in our laps, but he also ensured we had the tools necessary in order to help them. This was one truly amazing experience.
For more information on the bus visit www.nycr.org/
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
the people look like trees
Last year I left the Los Angeles Urban Project (the summer missions trip i did in South LA) with a couple questions. One of the biggest ones involved a healing story i experienced. See I have jumper's knee, or tendinitis in my knees, so if i work them a lot they hurt and begin to swell. This was especially bad in high school where i went through a period where i had to take pain killers just to even go to practice. My knees would swell up every day and i had to ice after everything. One day at LAUP, after going for a run my knees began to kill. Walking was hard and trying to go up stairs was impossible. So i asked a couple of my house-mates to pray for me. And indeed, afterwards it did get better. But the next day i woke up and they were still hurting. That day i kept praying for them and eventually the pain went away.
I believe God performed a miracle that day. Since that healing my knees have never been that bad again. I can exercise without icing and i hardly iced at all this past volleyball season nor did i take pain-killers which had become pretty routine at one point. Because of that dramatic difference in the state of my knees i know that something had changed that summer. But though my knees were ultimately healed, one thing i couldn't understand was why it took two days. Why it took one group praying with me one day and then me praying more the next. And the story that i kept thinking about was the healing of the blind man from Mark.
Mark 8:22-26 reads:
When they arrived at Bethsaida, some people brought a blind man to Jesus, and they begged him to touch and heal the man. Jesus took the blind man by the hand and led him out of the village. Then, spitting on the man's eyes, he laid his hands on him and asked, "Can you see anything now?"
The man looked around. "Yes," he said, "I see people, but i can't see them very clearly. They look like trees walking around."
Then Jesus placed his hands over the man's eyes again. As the man stared intently, his sight was completely restored, and he could see everything clearly.
I could not understand this story at all. I had my theories for it but none of them made sense and as to how it spoke to the healing of my knees i was dumbfounded. This Sunday i heard a preaching of this story that finally makes sense to me about my experience.
The reason Jesus has to heal the man twice isn't because Jesus made a mistake or that his healing power wasn't sufficient enough the first time. Nor was it necessarily a lesson on the blind man's faith or the man's courageous to tell Jesus he made a mistake (as we had once discussed in Mark study). Jesus is showing us here how much we need to depend on him. He's showing us how the more we depend on him, and allow him to work on our lives, the more complete and healed we can become. In this sense it is sort of about the blind man's faith because the blind man does have to continue to allow Jesus to work. This is a reminder to us of how much we need Jesus.
We want to have control of our lives. I know i for one want control. I like being the master of my own destiny. Therefore if there's something i think i need to work on then i will work on it until i feel like i've mastered it. Take sports for example. In basketball i would work on skills until i mastered them. I would spend days breaking down my shooting form until i was satisfied, or working on my dribbling, left-handed dribbling, shooting with my left hand, crossovers, shooting threes, and so on. I would work on these individual skills until i felt like i was good enough at them to move on. I think a lot of times that attitude gets translated into the spiritual realm as well.
If i have a problem i will pray that God would give me the strength to move past it so that i can move on to other issues. I think this story is a reminder of how that's not always the case. There are issues we will periodically struggle with for possibly the rest of our lives. Some huge ones i can see this summer include learning how to be patient with people who annoy me, or how to work with/for people i don't respect. Just because we are able in one circumstance to finally learn how to have patience and love for an individual doesn't mean that we're cured of those issues. Others will come around that will challenge us and then we are back to having to lean on God.
This story tells us to be humble and to not think that we are insusceptible to issues we've dealt with before. It tells us to recognize that we must come to the Lord day by day asking for his power in our lives to overcome the issues we face.
Even with the healing of my knees, though they are noticeably better this year then ever before, there are still some days where they hurt real bad. And in those times i can do nothing better then to turn to God and ask for his healing. I don't know if my knees will ever be pain free, but i do know that God has the power to take that pain away. Our lives are a never ending journey towards becoming better then what we were the day before.
Again, to quote my verse of the summer, Ephesians 3:20,
Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope.
All we need to do is to recognize our dependence on him and then to ask him to work in our lives.
I believe God performed a miracle that day. Since that healing my knees have never been that bad again. I can exercise without icing and i hardly iced at all this past volleyball season nor did i take pain-killers which had become pretty routine at one point. Because of that dramatic difference in the state of my knees i know that something had changed that summer. But though my knees were ultimately healed, one thing i couldn't understand was why it took two days. Why it took one group praying with me one day and then me praying more the next. And the story that i kept thinking about was the healing of the blind man from Mark.
Mark 8:22-26 reads:
When they arrived at Bethsaida, some people brought a blind man to Jesus, and they begged him to touch and heal the man. Jesus took the blind man by the hand and led him out of the village. Then, spitting on the man's eyes, he laid his hands on him and asked, "Can you see anything now?"
The man looked around. "Yes," he said, "I see people, but i can't see them very clearly. They look like trees walking around."
Then Jesus placed his hands over the man's eyes again. As the man stared intently, his sight was completely restored, and he could see everything clearly.
I could not understand this story at all. I had my theories for it but none of them made sense and as to how it spoke to the healing of my knees i was dumbfounded. This Sunday i heard a preaching of this story that finally makes sense to me about my experience.
The reason Jesus has to heal the man twice isn't because Jesus made a mistake or that his healing power wasn't sufficient enough the first time. Nor was it necessarily a lesson on the blind man's faith or the man's courageous to tell Jesus he made a mistake (as we had once discussed in Mark study). Jesus is showing us here how much we need to depend on him. He's showing us how the more we depend on him, and allow him to work on our lives, the more complete and healed we can become. In this sense it is sort of about the blind man's faith because the blind man does have to continue to allow Jesus to work. This is a reminder to us of how much we need Jesus.
We want to have control of our lives. I know i for one want control. I like being the master of my own destiny. Therefore if there's something i think i need to work on then i will work on it until i feel like i've mastered it. Take sports for example. In basketball i would work on skills until i mastered them. I would spend days breaking down my shooting form until i was satisfied, or working on my dribbling, left-handed dribbling, shooting with my left hand, crossovers, shooting threes, and so on. I would work on these individual skills until i felt like i was good enough at them to move on. I think a lot of times that attitude gets translated into the spiritual realm as well.
If i have a problem i will pray that God would give me the strength to move past it so that i can move on to other issues. I think this story is a reminder of how that's not always the case. There are issues we will periodically struggle with for possibly the rest of our lives. Some huge ones i can see this summer include learning how to be patient with people who annoy me, or how to work with/for people i don't respect. Just because we are able in one circumstance to finally learn how to have patience and love for an individual doesn't mean that we're cured of those issues. Others will come around that will challenge us and then we are back to having to lean on God.
This story tells us to be humble and to not think that we are insusceptible to issues we've dealt with before. It tells us to recognize that we must come to the Lord day by day asking for his power in our lives to overcome the issues we face.
Even with the healing of my knees, though they are noticeably better this year then ever before, there are still some days where they hurt real bad. And in those times i can do nothing better then to turn to God and ask for his healing. I don't know if my knees will ever be pain free, but i do know that God has the power to take that pain away. Our lives are a never ending journey towards becoming better then what we were the day before.
Again, to quote my verse of the summer, Ephesians 3:20,
Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope.
All we need to do is to recognize our dependence on him and then to ask him to work in our lives.
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